The Mishap of Chapter 34
by CasperGirl18
Summary: In the middle of chapter 34 in HP and the DH my friends and I got an idea. This was the end result. Written in good fun  and its funny 2. Please read!  note: borrowing this account from my friend.
1. The beginning of the end

Ok this story kind of begins in the middle of chapther 34 in Hp and the DH ok? Its just a funny little "outtake" if you wil and it sucks but just read. Maybe you'll think its funny as well.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Harry Potter, The Cha Cha slide or Elton John

Our story begins somewhere deep in the Forbidden Forest as a circle of Death Eaters sat around a camp fire waiting for their Lord Voldemort while some singing at the top of their lungs " If your happy and you know it clap your hands" and other belting out Spongebob's "Campfiresongsong". As soon as Lord V was seen though all singing came to an abrubt hault.

"Where is that insufferable boy!!! I need to kill him!! I haven't like attempted to like kill that boy in like a year OMG!! Bella darling help me!!!" Lord Voldemort whined coming out of a bush and grabbing Bellatrix by her robes.

" What is it love? Do your nails need buffering? Is it that time of month again?" she asked brushing back Lord Voldy's black and red "hair"

"OMG!!! Bella I knew you would understand!!!!" He hugged her tightly then let go." Wait I'm a guy not a girl!! Why would you say that Bella!!? Why would you mock me and my transexualism!!!!?? Did I just say that outloud?" Voldemort then burst into tears and reached for the nearest Death Eater to cry on.

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Mean while Harry Potter stood at the entrance to the Forbidden Forest with his newly found Resurection Stone and the people dearest to his heart near him.

"What am I doing here? I'm dead I think. Where Tonks!!!???" Remus asked.

"Shut up Mooney! Were all dead! As for Tonks I'm not so sure that Harry brought her back. Did you Harry?" James Potter replyed to the werewolf.

"No I didn't but can you guys shut up so I can apply my make up? I want to look good before I die!" Harry snapped at them while throwing his new purple boa around his neck and caking on bright orange eyeshdow, blue lipstick, and tons of glitter.

"Thats soooo much better don't you think mom?" He inquired.

" Oh dear you look absolutly gorgeous!! Come lets go, maybe old Voldy will see you and think ' He's to effing pretty to kill'. Oh I wish I weren't dead then I would help you with some eyeliner!' Lily Potter excalimed. Sirius just shook his head at the two and walked over to his friends.

When the quintette came to where Lord V. and his possie were they all saw a very strange sight. Apparently the EVIL GROUP OF ABSOLUTE DOOM, DESTRUCTION, AND DANCING!!! (EGADDD) as they now were called loved the Cha Cha Slide.

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" Oh my dear Lucius!! Why did it have to be him!!??" Lord V. cryed to his ex best Death Eater. As Voldemort sat in the blonde man's lap, clutching his shoulder, Lucius patted his back and gently rocked him back and forth.

"There there. Your ok." He whispered as Voldemort continued to sob.

"No Lucius I'm not!! I need a latte! Wait!! Where's my stereo? _Accio stereo!_" Voldemort hissed as a large battery powered boom box came flying out of the sky. Jumpin up and drying his tear the snake like wizard then began to shout to the group.

" EVIL GROUP OF ABSOLUTE DOOM, DESTRUCTION, AND DANCING!!! I have brought out this stereo because I'm having a very bad day and well quite frankly I want to dance so if all of you could form a line over here we shall get started!" With his orders all the Death Eaters jump off of the logs the were sitting on and form a straight line of about 30 people in front of Voldemort.

" Now all of you know how this goes so just listen and do as he says!" Voldy shouted again as the music began to play.

_" Clap, clap, clap, clap your hands. Clap,clap,clap,clap your hands. Alright now do the basic steps. To the left, take it back now ya'll. One hop this time. Right foot lets stomp. Left foot lets stomp. Cha Cha real smooth. Turn it out" _Mr. C instructed.

At this particular moment A boa cladded Harry had come to the clearing with his ghosty friends and was watching the Dark Lord and his minions do the Cha Cha Slide.

" Want to know what really sucks you guys?" He said to the four." This is my absolute favorite song of all time and I can even dance to it because one Lord V. is out there and he wants to kill me! Although I don't think he'll recognize me... thats it I'm going!! I'm going to dance the Cha Cha slide with Lord Voldemort!!" Harry then jumped into the line and started dancing with the Death Eaters who seemed oblivious to his appearence.

_" Now its time to get funky! To the right now, to the left. Take it back now ya'll. One hop this time, one hop this time. Right foot 2 stomps, left foot 2 stomps. Slide to the left, slide to the right!_

_Crisscross! Crisscross! Cha Cha real smooth!"_

" Ok people I think thats enough dancing for now.I think we should meet again next week and make up a dance rou- WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!!!??" Lord Voldemort demanded pointing his wand at Harry who was now in a black tunic, the purple boa, large sunglasses even though it was night time, and red pumps.

" Oh me? Well thats easy. I'm... I'm... I'm Elton John! Yes thats me good old Elton John!" Harry giggled a little and wrapped his boa back around his neck.

"Well Elton John... why are you here? Have you come to join EGADDD???" Voldemort asked Harry bringing him over to a log and giving him a cup of tea.

" Actually I was told that this was where the Cha Cha slide competition was being held... I'm the reigning champ in the States." he lied hoping that he could get out of this fine mess, change, then come back as Harry Potter not dressed in drag.

"Well dear Elton you have been informed wrong and what is that on your forehead?" Voldemort reached over to touch the Gryffindors head an screamed

" YOUR NOT ELTON JoHN YOU ARE HARRY POTTER AND NOW I SHALL KILL NOT ONLY FOR BEING THE ONLY THREAT TO ME BUT FOR BEING A COMPLETE WEIRDO AND DRESSING IN...THAT!!!" Voldy fumed and pointed to Harry's pants.

" Oh you did not just insult this outfit. My skinny purple pants are the shit and if you say they aren't your dead even though you won't really die considering Nagini is a Horcrux." Harry crossed his arms and looked over his sun glasses.

" Bring it on be-otch!!!" Voldemort whined and reached for his blue boa.

"STOP STOP STOP!!!!!!! Honestly Voldemort your the Drak Lord just use your wand and zap the homo mothafucka. Don't actually have a battle of the gays!" Lucius said to him then looked at Bellatirx who was drooling over Voldemort's boa.

" Back off bitches this is mine!!" she shrieked and ran off toward the school.

" Anyways all weird circumstances aside, Potter I have 2 words for you: John Cena"

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!

Ok I know this story sounds really stupid BUT my friends and I read the seventh book and thought that this would be hilarious to write. so here it is no harry is not gay we just found it funny to put him in semi drag. so if you lied it review if you didnt like it review I dont care just review so I no what 2 do!!!! And sadly I have no beta so in need of one !!! Please excuse any mistakes I'm very very sorry! Thnx for readin no this wont be a one shot.


	2. More fluff

Ok this story kind of begins in the middle of chapther 34 in Hp and the DH ok? Its just a funny little "outtake" if you wil and it sucks but just read. Maybe you'll think its funny as well.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Harry Potter or anything else that might be contain in this story so stop throwing hideous purses at me and read!

" Anyways all weird circumstances aside, Potter I have two words for you: John Cena"

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!

"Really Voldy? Thats all you can come up with? Some stupid WWE Wrestler that could be blown to peices with one flick of my wrist? Come on VOLDY!!!! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT HE DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST ME!!!!!" Harry ranted as Yaxley came out of nowere and tip toed over to Lord Voldemort wearing a bright purple tutu and ballet flats.

" Excuse me Lord V. but there have been some problems, see we couldn't get John Cena he wanted to much money." Yaxley wimpered.

"THEN WHO DO WE HAVE TUTU BOY!!!!!!?????" Lord V. yelled at him.

" Well the other people and I thought that since we didn't have John Cena you would get up the courage to kill Potter yourself?" Yaxley half laughed.

" Thats the stupidest damn thing I've ever heard!! Me actually do somehting esides dance, and threaten people when every one knew that it was never me behind this master plan but that sicko Snape who I had to pretend to kill because Potter was right there and I didn't want to I never wanted to do any of this!!! It isn't my fault mommy!!! It isn't my fault !!! It isn't !!! Stop yelling at me please!!!! I HA-"

"GOOD LORD STOP ALL THIS HORRIBLE BICKERING AND GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY!!!!! MY BLASTED FEET ARE COLD AND I WANT TO GO HOME!!Lord V. Stop telling yourself lies and just kill him!! Harry Potter is fast asleep on the ground.He'll be an easy kill." Lucius snapped huggin his shoulders.

" Fine fine fine!! ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!!! Now Harry Potter is asleep I say that we all take turns jumping over him and making funny faces then on the count of three we tickle him till he turns blue!!!! What do yoiu guys think?" LordV. suggested, creating some balloons for each of hem to hold.

" I get the pink one beacuse it makes my hair look just totally fabulous!!!" he smiled hugging the balloon.

As Voldemort continued to hug his beloved balloon, Harry slowly opened his eyes and tried to crawl away from the peculiar group. Sadly he didn't get very far.

"Harry were do you think you are going? Especially in that outfit!! Before I kill you we are going shopping!! Minions, fetch me my mall I want to take him into Dillards!!"

Ok I know this story sounds really stupid BUT my friends and I read the seventh book and thought that this would be hilarious to write. so here it is no harry is not gay we just found it funny to put him in semi drag. so if you liked it review if you didnt like it review I dont care just review so I no what 2 do!!!! And sadly I have no beta so in need of one !!! Please excuse any mistakes I'm very very sorry! Thnx for reading!!


	3. theoriginal chp 2

Ok this story kind of begins in the middle of chapther 34 in Hp and the DH ok? Its just a funny little "outtake" if you wil and it sucks but just read. Maybe you'll think its funny as well. This is the chap i was going to post for chp 2 but then i decded agaisnt it so wht ever

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Harry Potter or anything else that might be contain in this story so stop throwing hideous purses at me and read!

"Anyways all weird circumstances aside, Potter I have 2 words for you: John Cena." Voldemort cackled with and evil smirk.

" Um, my Lord V. sir, we couldn't give him the 1.5 million he wanted to come here so we dont have John Cena." Yaxley infromed the Dark Lord.

" Well thats just bloody great isn't it? First I have to kill my best Death Eater, then I don't have my WWE Pro wrestler!! Good gods this makesme sad!!!!" Voldemort sobbed. " No I won't cry anymore tonight I shall just-"

" I am not dead you fool! I was merely acting because I'm just great like that!" Snape said coming out of nowhere and flicking his black hair over his shoulder.

" Severus your alive?? I was getting err... worried... that.. OH SEVERUS I WAS SO SCARED I THOUGHT YOU WERE ACTUALLY DEAD!!!"" yelled very excited Lucius Malfoy as he rushed over to the headmaster.

" Luci darling I know that you would have been horribly scarred if I was to actually die but I would find some way to come back and-"

"I'm not to sure I want to hear the rest of that sentence Professor." Harry chimed in still clad in his make up. " Why are you all looking at me funny???? STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT I ALREADY HAVE MENTAL ISSUES!!!!" Harry then turned around and began mumbling softly to himself.

" Its ok Harry you'll be alright." said a very high pitched voiced.

" No it isn't Amelia! It never is anymore!! I mean first I find out that I have to let Voldemort kill me then my potion Professor returns from the grave an on top of that hes gay!!" Harry said to the voice.

" Listen Harry I love you and thats all that matters and once I can get out of these stupid broken glasses we can finally be together!" Amelia soothed to him.

" I know Amelia, its just it gets so hard sometimes. I mean I couldn't even finish my 7th year of school because Ihad to save the wrold oh yeah me!" Harry began to cry as he turned around to see a cluster of many faces staring at him in bewilderment.

" Ummmmm ok then. That was very weird to witness and I would like very much to forget it." Lord V. informed the group, who nodded.

" Oh I can't wait any longer to do this for Merlin's sake!" Voldemort shouted, pointing his wand at Harry.

"_AVADA KADAVERA!"_

Ok I know this story sounds really stupid BUT my friends and I read the seventh book and thought that this would be hilarious to write. so here it is no harry is not gay we just found it funny to put him in semi drag. so if you liked it review if you didnt like it review I dont care just review so I no what 2 do!!!! And sadly I have no beta so in need of one !!! Please excuse any mistakes I'm very very sorry! Thnx for reading!!


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